I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
