glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
