I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
