Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
