yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
