for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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