The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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