She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
