Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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