I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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