how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
