he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
