you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
