Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Randomize
