Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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