"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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