evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
