there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
