Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
