escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
