Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
