You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You smell like stripper and shame
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
