i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
