Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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