Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
