Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
