It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you would pick up someone in the library
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
