the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
