We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Shame - the story of my life.
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