my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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