just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
