there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Randomize