Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
