"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
