Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
