Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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