I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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