Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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