I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
