Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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