i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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