she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
