Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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