What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
