They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
