She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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