Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
