What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
