I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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