you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
