the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
