If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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