I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
